ATHLETIC DEPARTMENT: WEEKEND INDIAN SPORTS REPORT

Posted on October 26, 2007 - Filed Under SPORTS, Indian Mascots |

BASEBALL:

INDIAN IN THE WORLD SERIES: Jacoby Ellsbury

The Boston Red Sox named Jacoby Ellsbury as their starting center fielder for games 1 and 2 of the World Series. Ellsbury, enrolled with the Colorado River Indian Tribes/Navajo, has one hit in 7 at bats. He has scored a run, and he has 1 RBI for those two games in which the Red Sox beat the Colorado Rockies. The series returns to Colorado for 3 scheduled games on Saturday, Sunday, and if necessary, Monday. Honor Indians Institute Athletic Department predicts Ellsbury will soon be wearing some World Series jewelry.

INDIANS NOT IN THE WORLD SERIES: Chief Wahoo

The Cleveland Indians still have not contacted the Penobscot Tribe about retiring the racist Chief Wahoo mascot, seven years and counting. This would be a good weekend to give them a call since you will not be working.

INDIAN MASCOT COLLEGE FOOTBALL: Our predictions

TEAM vs.                                         TEAM                                             Prediction

Central Michigan Chippewas          Kent State                                  41-7 Kent State

Utah Utes                                      Colorado State                          28-7 Co. State

Florida State Seminoles              Duke                                             14-7 Duke

North Dakota Fighting Sioux         Minn-Duluth                              21-7 Minn-Duluth

Illinois Fighting Illini                      Ball State                                      35-7 Ball State

Indian mascot schools are all losers.

INDIAN MASCOT PRO FOOTBALL: Our predictions

TEAM vs.                                         TEAM                                          Prediction

Kansas City Chiefs                          Bye                                             41-7 Bye

Washington R-words                  New England                             49-7 New England

Indian mascot professional teams are all losers.

INDIAN MASCOT HOCKEY: Our predictions

We really don’t care, but Indian mascot hockey teams are losers.

MASCOT NEWS:

BREAKING NEWS: The University of North Dakota Fighting Sioux and the NCAA announced today that they have agreed to settle their mascot lawsuit. Under the terms of the deal, The Fighting Sioux will have three years to woo, court, or bribe a Sioux tribe into agreeing to allow North Dakota to use the “Fighting Sioux” mascot. The University will be allowed to use the mascot during the 3 year period. If the University is unable to convince a Sioux tribe to agree, the mascot will be retired.

TO THE SIOUX TRIBES OF NORTH DAKOTA: A word of caution, remember what happened the last time white men came bearing gifts and making promises and asking you to sign a paper!!!

TO THE UNIVERSITY OF NORTH DAKOTA: If you are unable to buy or persuade a Sioux Tribe to consent to the deal, Honor Indians Institute is ready, willing and able to negotiate a licensing deal for the Honor Indians Institute’s “Fighting Sue” mascot. The University has already spent close to a MILLION dollars just on attorney fees bringing this lawsuit. SO, we know where the bidding begins.

Thumbnail North Dakota Fighting Sue

NEW “WOULD YOU BE HONORED” MASCOT INTRODUCED:

Honor Indians Institute would like to introduce a new “Would You Be Honored” mascot. We previously introduced the Cleveland Negroes and the Washington Blackskins. Now, we offer the Los Angeles I.C.E. Dodgers.

LA I.C.E. Dodgers

 

To Latino ballplayers: Would you be honored?

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Comments

4 Responses to “ATHLETIC DEPARTMENT: WEEKEND INDIAN SPORTS REPORT”

  1. Jeff Rich on March 15th, 2008 1:36 am

    Relax. I have been a Cleveland Indians fan since birth. The Chief has been part of this team for a very long time. The name “Indians” was adopted to honor a great Cleveland professional baseball player, not to make a mockery of the race. This is not persecution. The Jews, Italians, and blacks face real issues with racism. Chief Wahoo is not the cause of the socio-economic problems on the reservations. If you don’t like him, don’t watch Cleveland Baseball.

  2. josh lanew on June 16th, 2008 9:38 pm

    dude are us serious after the fighting illinni beat ohio sstate and the red skins mad e the playoff snad hte most dominant team in florida high school history the fighting indians have done all this yeah indian macot makes u a loser u sound like the rascist. who cares its a mascot not the team and indians arnt rebeeling for god sakes they arnt indians or native americans theyare just americnas

  3. Brad Moyer on June 23rd, 2008 9:15 am

    I agree. Chief Wahoo is a trademark of the Cleveland Indians. Changing the name of the ballpark from “The Jake” to Progressive is bad enough, but dropping the name Chief Wahoo would be a sin. Stop complaining about this, it is not harming any one person or groups of people…

  4. Magee on November 16th, 2008 9:28 pm

    I am almost resentful of the ignorance from the last couple comments. “Redskin” is a racist term by whites who want to drive or keep natives forcefully reservations. It does not take much to ponder why they chose the color red. Its similar to the term “wetback” for hispanics. Chief is a sacred term for natives. Equivalant to God, Jesus Christ, or Holy Spirit for christians. Using chief for a sports team is nothing less than deragatory and insulting. And “Cheif Wahoo”… Where could i possibly start. Regaurdless, It is not seen by most as racist because Native culture and ideas are rarely common in society. Natives to not have the resources to properly voice their opinions in mainstream society. Please open up your understanding a little when speaking on behalf of Natives and Racism (like most of you have). You wouldnt have the slightest idea.

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